Saturday, October 20, 2012

The Truth is...

Well I can't believe Im going to write about this, but here it goes, the truth is I suffer from depression and anxiety.  I guess Im choosing to write about this because Ive been pretty down lately and feel pretty crappy to be honest.  Last week I felt good and did a lot of crafting and things seem to be going well but just within last few days I havent been so great and my blog is a source for me to vent so now you guys are stuck hearing my sob story, lol!
Right after I had Camilla I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, but the truth is Ive dealt with this for awhile and it just so happen that after I had my little Camilla it got worse, and I could no longer handle it myself.  I was put on medication and things got a lot better but within the last 2 months or so the medication has not been working as well and dont worry Im seeing my dr. soon ; )
I hate how this illness, disorder, whatever you want to call it has affected my life I swear when I see that cymbalta commercial(antidepressant medication) I feel like Im the poster child for that commercial bc I swear at my lowest thats so me.  I think what I hate the most about it other than EVERYTHING is my lack of interest in wanting to do things. Earlier this morning the hubby and I got into a bit of an argument bc we've had this camping trip thingy planned for a couple of months and this morning I just was not up for it.  Its hard for him to understand what Im going through, and I get it bc  I sometimes dont understand it myself. I think it just makes me sad that not only does this affect me but it affects my family too and that totally stinks!
Im choosing to share this bc venting helps me and makes me feel better, but Im also hoping that other people can relate to my story.  This is not something I'm embarrassed about its just something I have to deal with, and Im pretty open about it!  I have my  ups, and I have my downs and these are the cards I have been dealt with and I just need to know how to play them right.  Right now Im not the happiest, but Im going to fix that!
Anywho so this is my story or at least a very very short version of it, but Im sure with time I will write about it some more.  THANKS for taking some time to read this crazy story! hopefully the next one will actually involve crafts, lol!

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